Jay and Poppy’s Holiday

shadow of two people. One is wearing a cowboy hat.Jay and Poppy were running incredibly quickly to their shiny, new car. “Have you got the car keys?” asked Poppy.

“Yep. Got them in my pocket.”

As Jay was running, he tripped over and his brown, leather sunhat blew away. Before he could get back on his feet, a big, fat, naughty seagull flew away with his hat and made it into a nest! Jay plonked his bum on a rotten bench and started to cry about his old hat.

Poppy sat down beside him and said “Look at that. Your shadow has got a hat on but you haven’t.”

 
This story was written for the 100 Word Challenge. To see other entries head over to The Heads Office.

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23 Comments

  1. Well done Phoebe. This is an excellent story for your first go at the 100WC. It made me laugh in the middle when the seagull stole the hat, and I thought the end was really spooky. You have thought carefully about openers and punctuation as well as including lots of different types of punctuation. I’m really proud of you.

  2. Jennifer

     /  November 30, 2011

    Excellent work Phoebe. I am looking forward to reading your next story.

  3. I enjoyed the story very much. I felt sorry for him but also wanted to laugh at him for falling over and having his hat stolen. Well done.

  4. Ron

     /  December 1, 2011

    Well done Phoebe on completing your first 100 word challenge. I really liked the spooky ending.

  5. Daddy

     /  December 1, 2011

    Phoebe, I loved your story. How strange that the shadow still had a hat! I look forward to reading your next story!

  6. Diane Watson

     /  December 2, 2011

    Phoebe, what a cool story and I loved the ending, really has left me in wondering. Perhaps you could follow it on with another part to the story. I particularly liked the big, fat naughty seagul, the image made me smile

  7. This is a worthy candidate for the adult 100 word challenge! Haunting humour that could spawn a sequel? Do the shadows live, or show the past or future? Intrigued. I was wondering how you were going to include the prompt. I must say, I didn’t see that coming. I’m impressed, Phoebe.

  8. Theresa (Mommy)

     /  December 2, 2011

    That’s my girl 🙂
    Well done, I remember that seagull, think it was the one that stole my cheese sandwich in Llandudno.
    You’ve done really well.

  9. alison

     /  December 3, 2011

    a well written story with lots of nice descriptive words and a surprise ending which leaves the reader wanting to know more. I am v impressed Phoebe

  10. This 100 word challenge is amazing Phoebe! I really liked the end and was wondering how the man had a hat on in his shadow but was not actually wearing one. I also liked that there was a conversation going between Jay and Poppy. Keep up this fantastic work!
    From Kasim at http://www.6d.highlawnprimary.net

  11. Hello Phoebe & welcome to the 100WC!
    I love how you have told a story then linked it to the photo. That is my husband and he is very fond of that hat, just like Jay!
    I do hope you will write on the 100WC again!

  12. Hello Phoebe, what a super piece of writing for this week’s 100WC. I loved the way you ended with the shadow wearing the hat and Jay not. You should feel very proud of yourself for this piece; I thoroughly enjoyed reading it 🙂

  13. Hi Phoebe – you have really thought about the photograph and produced a well written 100WC. I like your use of adjectives which really make your writing more interesting – well done.

  14. tomasso

     /  December 4, 2011

    This is an amazing 100 word challenge. You used the promted very well. I espealy like how you said (“Look at that. Your shadow has got a hat on but you haven’t.”) It makes me really want to read on. Great 100WC. 🙂
    http://www.6d.highlawnprimary.net

  15. Well done Pheobe that is a very good story I liked it how you described (the a big fat, naughty seagull) you wrote that very well. I am looking forwared to your next 100WC.
    From Joe at http://www.6d.highlawnprimary.net

  16. stephon richards

     /  December 6, 2011

    What a lovely little story. You have got a gift for writing.

  17. Great story I like the idea about his hat still being on his head well done.

  18. Joseph

     /  December 7, 2011

    Well done, you did an amzing job on the 100wc. I also think its funny when the seagul stole the hat. Amazingly,you used lots of punctuation and it is always nice to do that. I like how you did paragraphs because in my class lots of people only do about two paragraphs and I think that is year two work so well done on that. Thanks for sharing your work to the world and I hope to see your work on the 100wc
    From your friends at High Lawn School. Joseph
    Here is a quicker way to come to our blog. http://www.6d.highlawnprimary.net

  19. Elliot

     /  December 7, 2011

    That was stunning. I think it would of been scary sitting next to a man who didn’t have a hat on but on the shadow he did. You described you words in an amazing way. Great writing!

  20. Chloe

     /  December 7, 2011

    Hello Pheobe,
    We read this in class an we all said it was a great peice of writing.I love your 100 word challenge because you have put a lot of a speech into your work and it was very mysterious.
    Well done
    From Chloe at High Lawn Primary School.

  21. Well done for having your work showcased. Hope you keep on writing 🙂

  22. Lisa Wields Words

     /  December 8, 2011

    Hi Phoebe,

    This made me laugh, and I love that. The descriptions were excellent, and I could really see these characters. I especially love “Jay plonked his bum on a rotten bench. . . “. Fabulous.

  23. great story you worked hard on this

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