Flicking through the interesting pictures on my plastic toy camera, a beautiful brown haired girl appeared. She looked scared and worried as her face was as hard as stone! I’d never noticed this picture before. Suddenly the gorgeous girl in the picture started to fade away! Think! I don’t know what I should do! It was erasing away from the picture and my memory! I started to feel incredibly unstable as I toppled over my toy box. My whole life flashed before my eyes and it looks like the girl in the photo was my twin sister! Maybe in a different dimension I am dead!
Caitlin F
Posted by sjbteachingkids on November 25, 2011
https://sjbteachingkids.wordpress.com/2011/11/25/caitlin-f/
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Sally-Jayne
/ November 25, 2011What a spooky story, Caitlin. You obviously have a great imagination and I really like the idea of different dimensions. You have also included some excellent descriptions – I especially like “her face was as hard as stone”. Read through your work again now, and see if you can think of some different punctuation marks, or some powerful vocabulary so that you could replace some of those exclamation marks. I am delighted that your school has joined the 100WC and I look forward to reading more of your writing over the coming weeks.
Mrs Skinner
/ November 26, 2011Goodness me Caitlin! What an amazing story and such a cliff hanger for your readers! It is so good to see your writing on the 100WC and I hope you will encourage other children to take the plunge!
Ross Mannell
/ November 28, 2011Hello Caitlin,
You’ve used all of the prompt words in exactly 105 words. To top it off, your writing easily fits into the creative writing mode.
It seems there is something quite odd about your little plastic camera. It contains a picture you start to believe may be your twin. Science fiction fans have stories about parallel dimensions where much may be the same as here. If we believe them, your story may have some truth. 🙂
Ross Mannell (teacher)
NSW, Australia
Lorely
/ November 29, 2011Well done Caitling, using all the words in this week’s 100 WC! I love your story, and you really do leave your readers in suspense! Hopefully you’re not dead, though – but I wonder if somewhere out there, you have a sister trying to contact you…
Lorely
/ November 29, 2011I thought I left a comment, but I don’t know what happened to it! I thought you created great suspense in this piece for the 100WC, Caitlin. It really buids up and leaves the reader wondering what is going to happen. Hopefully you aren’t dead, but maybe you have a sister out there somewhere…
sjbteachingkids
/ November 29, 2011Sorry Lorely – I just found your first comment hidden in the spam folder. I’ve marked you as definitely not spam so it shouldn’t happen again.
Joseph
/ November 30, 2011Good post, I love how you have started witha good opener. It was also quite spooky. Just read over your work because you have used alot of commas. Apart from that, your story was amazing. I hope to see you next week on the 100 word challenge.
From Joseph(High Lawn) here is a link to get to our blog quicker. http://www.6d.highlawnprimary.net
Thanks for letting me see your work.